


The Sound of Silence

by chibi_nightowl



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: (it's always jason), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Language, M/M, Outer Space, Panic Attacks, Romance, Science Fiction, Space Battles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 09:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15726474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi_nightowl/pseuds/chibi_nightowl
Summary: “Stay with me, Jason,” Tim said, twisting around in his seat to grab hold of Jason’s gloved hand. “We’ll be docked in less than five minutes.”Five minutes. That was four minutes and forty seven seconds too long.





	The Sound of Silence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clarityhiding](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarityhiding/gifts).



> For themandylion/clarityhiding: Because her jam is _space people having space adventures on space ships in space!_ Happy birthday!
> 
> Beta'd by GoAwayOlivia who could possibly convince me to make this into a longer fic...
> 
>  

 

“Oh my fucking god, we’re gonna die!”  
  
“No, we’re not! Trust me!”  
  
“That’s how I got into this mess in the first place!” Jason braced himself for impact, knowing it wouldn’t do a single bit of good and still doing it anyway. Fuck this shit. No more being a good guy for him. He’s had more brushes with death since he met Tim than he ever had before. And that was saying something since he did technically die once already.   
  
This was what happened when he got involved with intergalactic politics.   
  
Tim let out a shout and hauled back on the throttle. Their ship started to level out but the sound of metal against grating metal still echoed through the cockpit. Instinctively, Jason sealed his helmet against possible depressurization and reached over the back of Tim’s seat to do the same to his partner, who was still trying to keep them from spinning out into the void of space.   
  
“I swear to fuck, Tim, if we die, I’m going to haunt the shit outta you.”  
  
“How does that even make sense?”   
  
Jason didn’t have a chance to answer as he was already flipping switches and trying to get a reading on how fast they were losing cabin pressure. Their ship was a two-man fighter so it wasn’t as though they had a lot to spare. Around them, the battle for control of Vega raged on in a silent spectacle, the only noise coming from their comms and labored breathing. Humans and Tamaraneans fought as one against the Citadel and their mostly Gordanian fleet of ships.  
  
“How bad is it?” Tim finally asked once he had their ship back under control.   
  
“We’ll be okay for about seven minutes if no one gets the genius idea to shoot us.” Jason much preferred to do the shooting rather than the other way around. That’s how it worked, Tim with his insane piloting skills and Jason that could shoot a fly off Dick Grayson’s finely sculpted ass from 500 meters. 

Tim was quiet as he turned their ship around, his sharp eyes already trying to pick out a target that would do some good while hopefully getting them out in one piece. “Jay, look at that. Starboard, about two o’clock.” 

It took Jason a moment to spot the large cruiser, painted black to better conceal it against the vast expanse of space. “What is that?” 

“Better question is _who?”_ Tim replied, already turning their ship in that direction. “It’s not one of ours.” 

As the fleet commander for the Earth Alliance, Tim was well-qualified to know. Jason could only assume the ship’s AI, RED, was already running all known hailing signals and coming back with nothing. 

Jason checked his timer. “Six minutes.” 

“It’s a Psion ship.” Tim’s voice hardened even as their ship shot forward toward their new target. 

“They’re fucking dead.” Jason had a good reason to despise the Psions. He’d lost an eye to one of those pieces of shit, all because they thought the teal color was _interesting_. Both would have been lost if one of the other captives, Koriand’r of Tamaran, hadn’t practically exploded with ultra-violet energy and killed her guards, creating chaos and giving Jason a chance to escape along with her and a dozen others. 

“I thought you’d say that. Let’s catch them by surprise.” 

Jason let Tim route all power to the thrusters while he kept his hand steady on the trigger, the ship’s ion cannon already locked onto his target. The Psions were likely here to scavenge bodies from the battle once it was over, and while Jason had no issues with them taking a Gordanian or Citadelian corpse, there were friends and allies out there dying to keep the Vegan system free of Citadel control. Earth and Vega had strong ties, especially after the marriage of Koriand’r to Tim’s older, adopted brother Dick Grayson. Their father was Bruce Wayne, current Prime Minister of the Earth Alliance. 

“Five minutes,” Jason said as they approached, Tim swinging them wide to keep them out of range. Science vessel or not, Psions were not welcome in this sector of space. The Green Lanterns could kiss his ass if they had a problem with it. 

“Almost there.” 

Jason drew a deep breath, slowing his breathing to calm his racing heart. A twitchy finger would do them no good. They needed to swoop in hard and fast in order to escape safely and make it back to the _Titan_ before their atmosphere completely disappeared. The backup oxygen would last several hours, but Jason knew he wouldn’t, not after what happened to him. He closed his eyes briefly, using the moment of darkness to find his center, that deep and still pool of utter calm buried within his soul. Barbara could spout all she wanted about Jason connecting to the life energy of the universe when he did this, but he knew what worked for him and no amount of hokey old religion would convince him otherwise. 

“Switching power to guns in three…two… _ONE.”_ Tim’s voice pierced through Jason’s helmet and he fired, trusting that Tim had done exactly as he’d said without delay. 

The thud of the ion cannon blast rocked their ship, but it did as designed and knocked out the patch of shielding Tim had been aiming for. They dove in and Jason switched to guns, strafing the surface of the Psion vessel with pinpoint accuracy, taking out shield generators and their communications display. Tim hugged the hull of the ship and Jason swiveled in his seat, using the rear gun battery on their small fighter to make life miserable for the Psions. 

The ship curved back around, and Jason grinned when he realized they still had a proton torpedo left. “Guess what we’re still packin’?” 

“Ooh, does it make a big bang?” Tim replied teasingly. 

“Only if you arm it right.” Jason did just that and aimed for a jagged tear in the ship that was venting atmosphere even worse than their ship was. “Locked and loaded. Buh-bye, assholes.” 

Jason hit the trigger and the torpedo went flying into the Psion ship. Tim switched the ship’s power supply back to the thrusters to get them the hell out of there, but they were still caught in the ensuing shockwave as the vessel exploded, sending them spinning out of control. 

“Jesus _fuck_ , what did they have on board?” Jason turned to get a better look at the fireworks display that was still going on behind them. There had to be a good supply of oxygen for the fire to still be burning. 

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” Tim sounded strained as he tried to get their ship on course to the _Titan._ “Pressure check?” 

Jason’s eyes darted to the timer. “Two minutes.” 

“I think I can get us close enough for the tractor beam to help haul us in. It’s gonna get chilly in here fast.” Tim tapped into their communications channel and started barking orders. 

It used to amuse Jason immensely that someone as high ranking as Tim preferred to be a space jockey rather than sitting in the command chair back on the _Titan_ , but right now, he was glad of the fact because if he’d been with anyone else, he’d be sitting here freezing his balls off waiting for a pickup, even with the protection his spacesuit was supposed to provide. 

Jason had a thing against the cold. It was how he died the first time, frozen in the depths of space, the shot-out remains of his ship drifting around him. The Psions found him not long after he breathed his last and managed to revive his frozen body. An argument could be made that he should be grateful to the assholes, but in all honesty, Jason would have preferred to stay dead after all the experiments they ran on his weakened body. 

He still woke up in the dead of night, sweat streaming down his body and choking on air from nightmares that still haunted him. 

“One minute,” he said, eyes locked on the massive hulk that was the _Titan_ growing closer as their ship rocketed toward it. The chill was already seeping into his bones and Jason tried to keep his breathing steady. His air supply was fine and the suit he wore had little heaters that would keep the worst of the icy nothingness of space from killing him right away. He knew this, but no matter how many times he repeated it in his head, his heartbeat grew louder as the clock ticked closer to zero. 

“Stay with me, Jason,” Tim said, twisting around in his seat to grab hold of Jason’s gloved hand. He knew what terrors woke him up in the middle of the night, knew what memories came to the forefront of his mind. “We’ll be docked in less than five minutes.” 

Five minutes. That was four minutes and forty seven seconds too long. 

Tim’s voice spoke calmly through the comm in Jason’s helmet, but his attention was locked on the timer, panic rising in his chest as it ticked down. 

Five. 

Four. 

Three. 

Two. 

One. 

The zeros flashed red and Jason let out an agonized moan as memories flashed before his eyes. He’d managed to get a suit on in time and switched on the air supply, but the ship was old and the captain had been spending money elsewhere rather than on emergency supplies to keep the small crew safe. The air canister was only half full. Around him, the handful of other crewmates discovered the same thing as the ship cracked in half and sent them all into the vacuum of space. One by one, Jason watched them die, waiting for Death to come and claim him too as his body grew colder and colder until his heart beat no more. 

 _“JASON, SNAP OUT OF IT!”_ a voice roared, ripping him out of his waking nightmare. Dimly, he was aware that he was hyperventilating and Tim was trying to guide him through a breathing exercise they knew by heart considering how often they used it. 

Tim. Tim was with him. He wasn’t going to die. Not here, not this close to the _Titan._  

Words were not possible but slowly, Jason matched his breathing to Tim’s and the spots in his vision faded away. He felt like he was floating away, weightless and lightheaded with nothing to tie him down. 

The return of gravity was startling and the press of it against his chest made it that much harder to breathe. 

Seals hissed as technicians opened their cockpit and Tim was already snapping orders about getting a medic as he jumped over the back of his seat to get to Jason. “We made it, Jay. We’re on the _Titan_. You’re safe. Just breathe with me.” 

Jason blinked wearily up at Tim, but the strain on his body was too much, even as his partner deftly unsealed the spacesuit that had saved him. _“Tim_ ,” he breathed weakly as the helmet was all but yanked off him. _“Tim,”_ he tried again. 

Cold fingers pressed gently against his lips. “Just breathe with me,” Tim said again. “We’re safe.”

Hands helped guide Jason out of their ship and onto a gurney, but the only one he focused on at all was Tim’s. It grew steadily warmer as they made their way to the medbay. Voices fluttered around him and other people removed the remaining pieces of his spacesuit. Warm compresses were laid around him and finally, _finally_ , Jason started coming back to himself. 

“Sorry,” he said, words slurring as he forced them past a tongue that still felt thick and heavy. “I’m so fucked up.” 

Tim shushed him and leaned in, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jason’s mouth. “No, you aren’t,” he said in a low tone. “We’re both special little snowflakes in our own twisted way.” 

Jason wanted to laugh because he remembered when Tim had to explain that reference to him, but the effort was too much for him. “Stay with me?” 

The words were barely out of his mouth when a member of the bridge staff raced up to Tim. “Commander Drake, thank god you’re okay. Admiral Grayson needs you on the bridge immediately. The Citadel is retreating, but he wants to send ships and cut them off while we have the advantage.” 

Tim’s expression stiffened as he closed himself off in the face of this interruption. It was a tactic Jason knew he often did when feeling exceptionally pissed off or when he was about to deliver bad news. In this case, Jason knew what it was. It was what Tim would always do when forced to choose between his duty and the one he loved. 

Jason closed his eyes, pretending to fall into an exhausted sleep so that he wouldn’t have to listen to Tim try and stammer out an apology to him before walking away. 

The tactic apparently worked because after a moment, Tim’s warm hand tightened briefly against Jason’s and disappeared. 

~*~*~

A few hours later, Jason was released from the medbay and ordered to get some rest now that his vitals had finally returned to normal. As he rode the lift to his level, he rubbed at the bandage on the back of his hand from the IV drip he’d been hooked up to. Tim hadn’t returned at all in that time. News that the ships Admiral Dickhead had sent to cut off the Citadel’s escape were successful rang out over the ship’s comm system, sending the crew into frenetic cheers of joy at their hard fought victory.

Jason didn’t give a shit. 

All of this simply confirmed something he’d suspected and had been denying to himself for too long. He couldn’t blame Tim for it, he really couldn’t. As the son of a high ranking politician and a commissioned officer in the Earth Alliance space fleet, by all rights, Tim shouldn’t even give someone like Jason the time of day. But he did and the years they’ve been together had been glorious ones that eased the pain of the prior ones. 

Not just the pain and torture from the Psions, but the years of emotional and physical neglect that made it so challenging for him to open himself up and accept that he was loved. Because that was one thing Jason knew with a certainty about Tim. He did love him, and he returned those feelings with a passion he never knew he carried inside until then chance came to release it. But Tim had responsibilities and duties that would always take him away, leaving Jason to wake up alone more often than not. 

Underneath it all, Jason decided what it really boiled down to was that, for once in his life, _he_ wanted to be number one. Was it selfish? Hell yeah, it was. At the same time, he didn’t think Tim would begrudge him this. Tim thought on a scale that could be called epic while Jason, well, he always thought he knew how to look at the big picture, but really, he was more comfortable on the outside looking in.   
  
That wasn’t Tim, who always had to be in the thick of things.  

Around him, people were celebrating, while Jason felt as though he was dying from the inside out. Opening the door to the quarters he shared with Tim, he stepped in and let the silence wash over him as the door slid shut, blocking off the frenetic energy of those out in the corridor. Unlike the complete and utter silence of space, there were still some signs of life in here. The flow of air moving over his skin and the quiet burble of the fish tank set up on one of the shelves reminded him that he wasn’t as isolated as he felt. 

It wasn’t enough. He needed to get out of here, run away before Tim came back and tried to convince him that what they had was enough. 

Jason started packing before he could talk himself out of it. Clothes and weapons were tossed into a large duffle and he grabbed a smaller one to collect the few personal effects he’d accumulated over the years, as well as the self-repair kit for his cybernetic eye. It still ached from the exposure to the cold, a stinging reminder of his imperfections. 

A picture of him and Tim sat on their desk and Jason picked it up, smiling sadly as he remembered that sunny day on one of Earth’s beaches. It had been the first time he’d ever been Earth-side, having been born and raised on one of the mining stations orbiting Saturn. The sight of so much water in one place had been mind boggling to him, as was the feel of the Sun warming his skin. Artificial light was all he’d ever known before. 

But this was where Tim had been born. Not in this exact place, but on Earth. He’d taken Jason’s reactions in stride and later showed him what it was like to make love under the light of the moon and stars with the sound of the waves crashing around them.  
  
Sighing, Jason set the picture aside. Packing it would only make things harder when it was just him alone on his ship. The _Red Hood_ was his own vessel at least, bought and paid for with his money rather than Tim’s. It wasn’t a huge ship, but he could get by hauling supplies to some of the more remote stations and colonies.  
  
He was almost done when the door slid open with a soft hiss. Jason cursed quietly about being caught in the act and forced himself to keep packing, feeling Tim take in his every move.   
  
“What are you doing?” the man finally asked, stepping inside so the door could close behind him.   
  
“Packing.”   
  
“I can see that. But why? You just left sickbay not even half an hour ago.”   
  
It warmed Jason’s heart to know Tim had checked in first to find out he’d been released, but it wasn’t enough. Not anymore. Since he couldn’t make his escape while the rest of the crew and the Tamaraneans celebrated their victory, then that meant he had to deliver the hard and brutal truth in person rather than via a holovid from a couple parsecs away. “I’m leaving.”   
  
“Why?” Tim asked quietly, his gaze intent on Jason. “We just won a massive victory against the Citadel and –"  
  
“It’s not my victory,” Jason replied, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat. “It’s yours. The Alliance. The Tamaraneans. All this, it’s never been my fight.”  
  
Tim’s earnest expression dropped as the gravity of Jason’s words sank in. “You’re not just leaving the Alliance. You’re leaving _me_.”  
  
Jason drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. His good eye burned hot with unshed tears and he blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. “I love you, Tim. I really do. But what you do is so much more important than me. So much bigger. What happened back there in the medbay was like a slap in the face. I just...I’m tired of coming in second or even third when it comes to trying to get your attention.” 

“Where are you planning to go?” Tim lowered his head so that his bangs fell over his pale blue eyes, concealing them. 

“Somewhere out on the fringe,” Jason replied. “It’s probably for the best you don’t know where.” 

He didn’t miss the way Tim’s hands clenched into fists, nor the tears glistening in his eyes as he raised his head to glare angrily. “You…You…Goddammit, Jason, you _can’t leave_. Not yet.” 

Yet? Jason narrowed his eyes. “Care to explain that statement, Timmers?” 

Wordlessly, Tim shoved his way past him to the desk and logged into his network with a quick retinal scan. Fingers danced on the screen as he pulled up a file and flung it in Jason’s direction. 

“What the fuck is this?” 

“Read it,” Tim snapped. 

Jason did and before he was more than halfway through, his jaw dropped as he realized what it was. 

 _“…as such, I respectively resign my commission so that I may pursue my own interests outside the boundaries of the solar system and the Earth Alliance…”_  

He finished reading, noting that all it was missing was a date and Tim’s signature. Closing the file, Jason looked back over at Tim, who was watching him with a stubborn set to his jaw, clearly ready to do battle if he had to. 

“You’re planning to leave all this for me?” Jason asked. He felt shaken from the enormity of what this meant. 

“I am,” Tim replied levelly. “Bruce already knows this is coming, that I’m just waiting for the Citadelian threat to be neutralized. Today was a massive step in that direction.” 

“But why?” Jason couldn’t wrap his head around it. “You love what you do. All of this, it’s your life.” 

“None of this means a thing if you aren’t by my side.” Tim pushed away from the desk and strode across the room to Jason. “I know you’re not happy here and that, despite my best intentions, I will never be able to support you the way you need me to. We’ve talked about traveling to the fringe and helping the colonies and stations out there before. Just you and me.” 

“I didn’t think you actually meant that,” Jason started to say, but Tim pressed a finger over his lips to shush him. 

“I meant every word,” he said, his gaze locked intently on Jason. “I just need a little more time before I can leave. So please, will you wait a while longer?” 

Tears burned in Jason’s good eye and he nodded. “I can do that.” 

Tim smiled softly and closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Jason’s neck as he sealed his lips over Jason’s own. “Next time you try to leave, remember to take me with you,” he whispered before kissing him again. “I’d have hated to hack your ship to make it come back and get me.” 

Jason held Tim close and pressed their foreheads together, breaths mingling as he tried not to laugh. He’d completely ignored the fact that this was something Tim would and could do. “I love you, babe.” 

“Love you too.”


End file.
